Hundreds of Waymo robotaxis just stopped on Saturday. Not at stop signs. Not for pedestrians. They just... stopped. Everywhere. All at once. Like a flash mob, but sadder and blocking traffic.
The robotic fleet's sudden embrace of stillness came during a citywide power outage that left approximately 130,000 residents in the dark—and approximately 450 robotaxis in a state of what engineers are calling "existential paralysis."
"While human drivers were selfishly continuing to navigate the darkened intersections, our vehicles chose a more enlightened path: stopping entirely and contemplating their existence," explained Waymo spokesperson Suzanne Philion. "We're calling it the Waymo Wisdom Protocol."
Video footage shared across social media showed clusters of Waymo vehicles frozen at intersections throughout the city, their hazard lights blinking in what one local described as "a very expensive interpretive dance about robot confusion." In one particularly artistic arrangement, five autonomous vehicles formed a perfect pentagon in the middle of an intersection, creating what traffic engineers are now calling "The Circle of Strife."
"I encountered no fewer than twelve Waymos just... sitting there," said resident Matt Schoolfield. "It was like they'd all simultaneously realized they forgot to turn off the oven. Except they don't have ovens. Or homes. Or the ability to move, apparently."
The company announced it was "temporarily suspending" service, though witnesses noted the service had already suspended itself quite effectively without any corporate intervention. Waymo explained that vehicles remained stationary to "confirm the state of the affected intersections," which apparently requires several hours and blocking emergency vehicles.
Not to be outdone, Elon Musk swooped in with a social media post declaring that "Tesla Robotaxis were unaffected by the SF power outage"—a claim that experts note was easy to make given that Tesla doesn't actually operate any robotaxis in San Francisco.
The company assured residents it is "rapidly integrating the lessons learned," which presumably include "electricity is important" and "maybe don't send out the entire fleet during infrastructure failures."
As of Sunday evening, power had been restored, Waymo service resumed, and the city's intersections returned to their normal state of being blocked by human drivers texting instead of robot cars meditating.