French President Emmanuel Macron showed up to an economic forum wearing aviator sunglasses indoors because of a burst blood vessel in his eye, and now a small Italian eyewear company is worth €3.5 million more than it was on Monday. The stock market remains a perfectly rational system based on fundamentals and careful analysis.
The medical emergency, which required Macron to protect his delicate presidential eyeball with €659 aviator sunglasses during an indoor speech, sent shares of iVision Tech soaring nearly 30% as traders scrambled to invest in a company they'd literally never considered purchasing securities in before Tuesday.
"This certainly created a wow effect on the stock," said iVision Tech CEO Stefano Fulchir, a man who has clearly never experienced this much attention in his entire professional career and is visibly struggling to contain his glee while maintaining appropriate corporate gravitas.
The eyewear manufacturer, which owns the French luxury brand Henry Jullien—a company that was bankrupt just a few years ago—has reportedly resumed production of the Pacific S 01 model after Macron's ocular distress went viral. The frames are now being marketed with the tagline "As Seen On A President With A Busted Eye."
Social media exploded with memes comparing Macron to Tom Cruise's character in the 1986 film Top Gun, despite the fact that Maverick's sunglasses were worn outdoors while flying supersonic aircraft, not indoors while delivering economic policy speeches.
"This is a clear demonstration of meme economics colliding with traditional markets," explained one financial commentator who has apparently given up trying to make sense of anything anymore.
CEO Fulchir was quick to recognize the Henry Jullien glasses, noting that he had personally sent them to Macron in 2024—a detail that raises questions about whether this was a brilliant long-term product placement strategy or just an incredibly lucky gift.
The company has now dedicated an entire webpage to photos of Macron wearing their sunglasses, effectively turning the French president's eye injury into their most successful marketing campaign in company history.
Wall Street analysts compared the moment to Sarah Palin's rimless glasses at the 2008 Republican National Convention, which also sent optical shops scrambling. Because apparently, nothing drives consumer behavior quite like politicians with vision problems.
Sources confirmed that several hedge funds have begun compiling lists of world leaders with minor ailments, hoping to identify the next medical accessory that might inexplicably move markets.